No rack can torture me,
My soul's at liberty.
Behind this mortal bone
There knits a bolder one
You cannot prick with saw,
Nor rend with scymitar.
Two bodies therefore be ;
Bind one, and one will flee.
The eagle of his nest
No easier divest
And gain the sky,
Than mayest thou,
Except thyself may be
Thine enemy ;
Captivity is consciousness,
So's liberty.
I have recently been occasionally reading some poetry from a collection of Emily Dickinson's poetry. The book I have was given to me Christmas 1990, by my mom's best friend when we lived in Rochester, NY. So I have had this book for twenty years. It is funny how early, we, as human beings, display our tendencies- apparently I was drawn toward the arts as young child. However, I am only now beginning to appreciate what is between the covers of this poetry book...and some of the poems still go over my head! Ha ha. Coincidentally (my mom reminded me of this when she saw me reading the poetry book) I recently learned that I am related to Emily Dickinson, on my mother's side of the family. (As well as Edgar Allen Poe. I already had heard I was related to him on my dad's side, now I am told he has a connection via my mom too.)
I am scheduled for a CT scan tomorrow, at the Mayo clinic. It was ordered a few months ago, by Dr. Garland, my Pulmonologist. If everything looks good (as in, no evidence of pulmonary toxicity in the lungs), then I should be able to finally go off of the Prednisone! I have gained over twenty pounds since I have been on it and it is not the greatest thing for stable moods. Things could definitely be worse, I can't really complain, but still I will be glad to be able to stop taking it. On Tuesday, we (my mom, dad, and I) will meet with the doctor and find out the results of the scan. I am feeling pretty good. I am a little short of breath when I "exert" myself and occasionally I am aware of sensations under my ribs. But the best thing to do, I think, is just to be grateful, if possible, no matter how I feel or what happens. Because there is nothing to lose by being grateful. And I have A LOT to be grateful for!
I have enjoyed a beautiful past few days, including a brief visit from my friends Chris and Chili, and Lincolnville Festival fun in downtown St. Augustine, with my Dad and Heidi. The weather has been beautiful and I have really been having a great time :)
2 comments:
Hope the scan goes well. The shortness of breath on exertion sounds typical of just a depressed blood count. Low RBC, HGB, HCT, etc. I remember asking my doc about pulmonary toxicity and she said it would be obvious.
Dear Anastasia,
It was so very delightful to hear from you. You remind me so much of how my Amy was...born to the arts...loved edgar allen poe, and other authors. any questions you may have about her journey i will share with you if they can benefit you.
i wanted to ask you about what you meant when you said you occas felt sensations up under your rib cage.
i wish you many beautiful fall evenings where the crisp air turns your cheeks rosey and the hugs of your mom and dad warm you up...these are the priecless things that remind us of the beauty of being alive.....they take away the images of the tests that seem to hang around the neck like mill chain.
you are in my daily prayers. never, ever give up.
angel hugs
love
debbie
aka amy's mother
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