was eventful!
I went home for the past week. The worst event was that my father was in a bad accident on Monday! He was left sore, with a broken rib and collarbone, but other than that, thankfully, he is okay. His truck (which he was quite fond of) was totaled. He was turning left at a green light when a car ran a red light going at least 45 mph (the speed limit). This was only down the street from my mom's house. Terribly scary! My heart about stopped when we got a phone call from him saying he'd been in an accident and couldn't find his glasses. Poor dad! I am sooooooo glad he is okay. I love you, dad!!
Grandma is still hanging in there! I played some music for her and she gave me some wonderful smiles. She is a sweet lady.
Overall, other than dad's accident, it was a very nice, refreshing, enjoyable Spring Break 2011.
I slept in until...ahem....2 pm this afternoon (there was a time-change you know...), picked up a coffee around 9 this evening at the beginning of my drive back to Tallahassee. Now.....home and WIDE AWAKE. I took Melatonin a couple of hours ago but it seems to have had no effect on penetrating this wide awake state. So, I figured it was time to blog. I had the writing urge.
I did a follow-up visit with Dr. Hoppe and Kerri Hopper (his assistant) on Wednesday. He reviewed my most recent blood results and stuff. Blood looks good! I have lost more weight. I am looking kind of thin! Strange to mind that! I think the reason is because being in college keeps me pretty active and I don't always eat as much as I should, just because I get busy and forget sometimes. Anyway..., the only other news in the post-cancer department is that Dr. Hoppe has recommended I find a cardiologist to follow up on the abnormality in my EKG scan, which was noted before I began radiation treatment, and had been noted before. Dr. Hoppe thinks the abnormality is most likely due to the tumor/now scar tissue having been/being on top of my heart. It will probably not be a big deal, but it would be a good idea for me to get set up with a cardiologist.
Am I getting sleepy yet? Not sure...perhaps. I am actually kind of hungry. :-/ Morning is coming soon. This is my awkward transition back into college life. Six thirty AM is three hours and twenty minutes away. Again I say, :-/.
I love Music Therapy though...I am getting more and more excited about this path I am on. I will have to share more about it soon. Which reminds me, um you may or may not have noticed but I have decided NOT to make this blog private, just yet. I think that was a bit pre-mature. I may NEVER make it private! Then again, one day, I may. I thought about it more and realized that it is probably not anything I will have to hide from potential employers. Prednisone influenced Youtube videos during treatment....well I have removed those! (Though I will never be able to remove the memory behind the jokes that are still made at my expense by my loving family). :) Also, I still have a couple more years of training to go before it will be time for me to work as a full-time music therapist. So, there is no rush.
Oh...my. Really hungry.
And on that note,
Bye for Now!
<3 Anastasia
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Your blog is still in my feed so I'm happy to read you again! May your father recover quickly and completely.
ReplyDeleteAs for you! The lilt in your voice sounds through the written word. Bless you!
Thanks WhiteStone! :)
ReplyDeleteAna:
ReplyDeleteIt was great having you home and what a comfort you were to your Dad in the hospital and afterward. The house just lights up every time you walk in. Your presence is greatly missed already.
As for the YouTube videos... you should know by now, that when I joke about something like that, it is only to cover up intense feelings (of pain) that I have no idea how to express. I was only able to watch a few of them, because they were so heart wrenching. Once you were done with the prednisone & feeling so much better, I was just so relieved. Although, it's not the same, the memories of watching you go through everything will always haunt this mother's heart. I would have changed places with you if I could have .
Don't ever think for one minute, that I actually found any humor in any part of what you were going through. Even now I walk a fine line between laughter & hysteria. I've always used joking as a way to lighten what I'm actually feeling, which in this case is scared, angry, confused, broken. I thank God you're in remission, but just as you're still healing, I am also. I'm just so tired of crying and I want to laugh with you, never at you.
Well, there is good news and bad news. The good news is that I believe dad has transferred the youtube videos I made, as well as the other various contents of "my" old laptop onto an external hard drive I picked up. So...although you can watch the rest of 'em anytime you'd like! Ha ha...just kidding. Not sure if that was funny. Hmm. It wasn't all bad, the experience, that is. There were also funny moments, happy moments, moments of connection and love, moments of feeling cradeled in a presence much more all encompassing than the limits of my own fear. And I am thinking of the special moments we had as a family, too! I hate that there is cancer and that people have to suffer in this world, but as far as suffering goes, I had it very good with my wonderful support team and comfy, creative space, home sweet home. With the dogs and piano and lots of books. Anyway, don't worry, be happy. It is all going to be A-OK. Thanks for calling. By the way, I take some joy in being teased. I am the tiniest bit proud of my foolishness. At least I was expressing my own quirky self. Plus I like to laugh at things too, you know! In fact, I probably was laughing when I wrote that. It is endearing that you guys know and remember these things about me! Thank you for paying attention. I love you!!! <3, Anastasia
ReplyDeleteP.S. Oh yeah...there was no bad news, btw. ! :)
ReplyDeleteIt’s nice to know that you are still living life to the fullest despite your illness. There are lots of people who simply break down once they start suffering from the big C. Remember that a positive attitude can do wonders for the illness!
ReplyDeleteProstate Cancer